Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Salty Dick's Uncensored Sailor Songs (2004)

Collected, researched and performed by Richard Docker, Ph.D.
If you want to learn songs that deal frankly with sexual themes, find a group of men without the company of women, open up a bottle or two, and stay close until the singing begins.
For seamen, the enforced abstinence of sea voyages created a pressure that found an outlet in the singing of bawdy songs.
Such are these songs, selected from both the merchant service and naval tradition, songs of long ago as well as today, and songs from all corners of the English-speaking maritime world.
"The album is titled “Salty Dick’s Uncensored Sailor Songs”, and never was a product more truly labeled. This CD is packed with 21 of the most offensive songs you’ll ever hear.
If you read that previous sentence and thought, “oh please, how bad can it be?”, then read no further – it’s that bad and worse. It’s so bad, in fact, that I can’t truly review it, because were I to do so then I would use all sorts of words that I’d rather not, and then Google would see those words and start sending droves of perverts to this site. These words include the F-word, the C-word, the other C-word, the T-word, the J-word, the P-word, and the W-word, all used in great abundance. So let me try to tiptoe around this…
Salty Dick’s Uncensored Sailor Songs is both spirited and raunchy – and it’s also a lot of fun. From songs about Christopher Columbus bung-holing his shipmate to sailor’s having naughty dreams and priests “playing doctor” with nuns – this album lives up to its promise in every sense of the word.
None of these songs were written for this album – they’re each culled from decades of legend and tradition. Fans of sea shanties will likely be familiar with the likes of Friggin’ in the Riggin’, The Crabfish, Bellbottom Trousers, and others. But others are less common, such as A-Hole Rules the Navy, Eff Them All, and the hilariously innappropriate Christopher Columbo. Throughout it all, Salty Dick’s voice is friendly and chipper, which makes the lyrics seem all the naughtier. The liner notes briefly, but clearly, cite the sources of these songs, which hail from the British, Canadian, and US navies, ranging from the 1700s to today.
This album is a treat of the naughtiest kind. Send the kids away, send away the easily offended, send away the not-so-easily offended, and then give it a spin. While listening to this tribute to a – generally ignored – piece of maritime history, you’ll almost certainly find yourself happily tapping your toes to the most explicit folk music imaginable. Which is just fine, until you come to the realization that your seagoing great-grandaddy likely sang these very songs. Then you’ll feel strange and disturbed."

The last song on this CD, "Fuck 'Em All", is used on the soundtrack for the fantastic documentary about tattoo legend Sailor Jerry - Hori Smoku: Sailor Jerry - available on DVD now.

Tracklist: 1. Banks of the Sacramento, 2. Asshole Rules the Navy, 3. Chinatown Bumboat, 4. Friggin' in the Riggin', 5. Priest and Nuns, 6. North Atlantic Squadron, 7. Johnny Come Down to Kilo, 8. Charlotte the Harlot, 9. The Whores of Sailortown, 10. The Shaver, 11. The Dockyard Church, 12. The Crabfish, 13. Amsterdam, 14. A Matlow Told Me (aka The Fucking Machine), 15. Christopher Columbo, 16. Serafina, 17. The Red Flag, 18. Bell-bottom Trousers, 19. The Fireship, 20. The Sailor's Dream, 21. Fuck 'Em All.
Download (77 Mb): Rapidshare


Peter said...

Fun record!

Anonymous said...

I'd love to hear this, but it appears to only be available to Premium Users.