Salty Dick's Uncensored Sailor Songs (2004)

Collected, researched and performed by Richard Docker, Ph.D.
If you want to learn songs that deal frankly with sexual themes, find a group of men without the company of women, open up a bottle or two, and stay close until the singing begins.
For seamen, the enforced abstinence of sea voyages created a pressure that found an outlet in the singing of bawdy songs.
Such are these songs, selected from both the merchant service and naval tradition, songs of long ago as well as today, and songs from all corners of the English-speaking maritime world.
"The album is titled “Salty Dick’s Uncensored Sailor Songs”, and never was a product more truly labeled. This CD is packed with 21 of the most offensive songs you’ll ever hear.
If you read that previous sentence and thought, “oh please, how bad can it be?”, then read no further – it’s that bad and worse. It’s so bad, in fact, that I can’t truly review it, because were I to do so then I would use all sorts of words that I’d rather not, and then Google would see those words and start sending droves of perverts to this site. These words include the F-word, the C-word, the other C-word, the T-word, the J-word, the P-word, and the W-word, all used in great abundance. So let me try to tiptoe around this…
Salty Dick’s Uncensored Sailor Songs is both spirited and raunchy – and it’s also a lot of fun. From songs about Christopher Columbus bung-holing his shipmate to sailor’s having naughty dreams and priests “playing doctor” with nuns – this album lives up to its promise in every sense of the word.
None of these songs were written for this album – they’re each culled from decades of legend and tradition. Fans of sea shanties will likely be familiar with the likes of Friggin’ in the Riggin’, The Crabfish, Bellbottom Trousers, and others. But others are less common, such as A-Hole Rules the Navy, Eff Them All, and the hilariously innappropriate Christopher Columbo. Throughout it all, Salty Dick’s voice is friendly and chipper, which makes the lyrics seem all the naughtier. The liner notes briefly, but clearly, cite the sources of these songs, which hail from the British, Canadian, and US navies, ranging from the 1700s to today.
This album is a treat of the naughtiest kind. Send the kids away, send away the easily offended, send away the not-so-easily offended, and then give it a spin. While listening to this tribute to a – generally ignored – piece of maritime history, you’ll almost certainly find yourself happily tapping your toes to the most explicit folk music imaginable. Which is just fine, until you come to the realization that your seagoing great-grandaddy likely sang these very songs. Then you’ll feel strange and disturbed."
Source: Bilgemunky.com

The last song on this CD, "Fuck 'Em All", is used on the soundtrack for the fantastic documentary about tattoo legend Sailor Jerry - Hori Smoku: Sailor Jerry - available on DVD now.

Tracklist: 1. Banks of the Sacramento, 2. Asshole Rules the Navy, 3. Chinatown Bumboat, 4. Friggin' in the Riggin', 5. Priest and Nuns, 6. North Atlantic Squadron, 7. Johnny Come Down to Kilo, 8. Charlotte the Harlot, 9. The Whores of Sailortown, 10. The Shaver, 11. The Dockyard Church, 12. The Crabfish, 13. Amsterdam, 14. A Matlow Told Me (aka The Fucking Machine), 15. Christopher Columbo, 16. Serafina, 17. The Red Flag, 18. Bell-bottom Trousers, 19. The Fireship, 20. The Sailor's Dream, 21. Fuck 'Em All.
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VA - Smokey and the Bandit (1977)

Here's the long out of print soundtrack to the amazing movie "Smokey and the Bandit" from 1977 - one of my favorite childhood flicks.
"The theme music "Eastbound and Down" (A.K.A. "Westbound and Down") was sung by Jerry Reed. The song was written by Jerry Reed (credited under his birth name, Jerry Hubbard) and Dick Feller. It became Reed's signature song and is found on multiple albums, including Country Legends and his live album Jerry Reed: Live Still. In 1991 it was arranged for orchestra by Crafton Beck and recorded by Erich Kunzel and the Cincinnati Pops Orchestra for their album "Down on the Farm".
"Smokey and the Bandit is a 1977 movie starring Burt Reynolds, Sally Field, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Pat McCormick, Paul Williams, and Mike Henry. It inspired several other trucking films, including two sequels, Smokey and the Bandit II (originally known as Smokey and the Bandit Ride Again in the U.K.), and Smokey and the Bandit Part 3. There were also a series of 1994 television movies (Bandit Goes Country, Bandit Bandit, Beauty and the Bandit and Bandit's Silver Angel) from original director/writer Hal Needham loosely based on the earlier version, with Emmy-winning actor Brian Bloom now playing Bandit. The three original movies introduced two generations of the Pontiac Trans Am (while the TV-movie version drives the Dodge Stealth). The film was the second highest grossing film of 1977, beaten only by Star Wars".
Source: Wikipedia

Tracklist: 1. The Legend, 2. CB Dialogue #1, 3. West Bound and Down, 4. Foxy Lady, 5. CB Dialogue #2, 6. Orange Blossom Special, 7. The Bandit, 8. March of the Rednecks, 9. If You Leave Me Tonight I'll Cry, 10. East Bound and Down, 11. The Bandit, 12. And the Fight Played On!, 13. Ma Cousin Plays Steel, 14. Hot Pants Fuzz Parade, 15. CB Dialogue #3, 16. The Bandit (Reprise).
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Smokey and the Bandit @ Wikipedia / Smokey and the Bandit @ IMDB

Coil - Unreleased Hellraiser Soundtrack (1987)

Hellraiser is a 1987 British horror film exploring the themes of sadomasochism, pain as a source of pleasure, and morality under duress and fear. It is based on the critically acclaimed novella The Hellbound Heart by Clive Barker, who also wrote the screenplay and directed the film. In the UK, the film is titled Clive Barker's Hellraiser. It is the first film in the Hellraiser series. Seven subsequent sequels followed with a remake of the first announced in 2007.
Clive Barker originally commissioned a soundtrack for Hellraiser from the industrial band Coil. The music they supplied was rejected, and Christopher Young provided a more traditional orchestral score for the finished movie. Coil's score, which was apparently described by Barker in a complimentary manner as being "bowel churning", has been released in isolation as The Unreleased Themes For Hellraiser and as part of the compilation Unnatural History II (CD) (1995).
Coil's original theme was later covered by the Italian black metal band Aborym on their debut album Kali Yuga Bizarre
The Unreleased Themes for Hellraiser (subtitled The Consequences of Raising Hell) was the fourth album that Coil released in the year 1987. The album was released on the CD, cassette and 10" vinyl. It was the proposed soundtrack to the film Hellraiser. A common misconception is that this version was deamed "too scary" to use, however in all actuality it was turned down because it was not considered commercial enough by the studio. The following quote by Cliver Barker, which was included on the album cover to the vinyl version, may have helped to perpetuate this myth: "The only group I've heard on disc whose records I've taken off because they made my bowels churn"
A-side tracks from the 10"/cassette version and all tracks from the CD version later appeared on the Unnatural History II compilation. B-side tracks from the 10"/cassette version later appeared as a single track on Unnatural History III.
This is the only release on the record label Solar Lodge, with catalog number COIL 1. The cassette version was licensed to Soleilmoon and released in 1990, with catalog number SOL 4. The cassette features a different cover than the CD and vinyl release.

10" Vinyl & Cassette Track List: Side A: "The Unreleased Themes For Hellraiser": 1. Hellraiser, 2. Box Theme, 3. Main Title.
Side B: "Music For Commercials": 1. Airline 1, 2. Liqueur, 3. Perfume, 4. Video Recorder, 5. Airline 2, 6. Natural Gas, 7. Cosmetic 1, 8. Cosmetic 2, 9. Analgesic, 10.Road Surface, 11.Accident Insurance.
CD Track List: 1. Hellraiser Themes, 2. The Hellbound Heart, 3. Box Theme, 4. No New World, 5. Attack of the Sennapods, 6. Main Title.
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Burt Bacharach - Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid (1969)

Not really a rarity or an album that's difficult to get, but it's the soundtrack to my all time favorite movie - Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid.
"Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is a 1969 Western film that tells the story of bank robber Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman) and his partner The Sundance Kid (Robert Redford). The film is only loosely based on historical fact, but it popularized the legends of these Western icons.
The film was directed by George Roy Hill and produced at 20th Century Fox by John Foreman from a screenplay by William Goldman. The music score was by Burt Bacharach and the cinematography by Conrad L. Hall. Along with Newman and Redford, the film stars Katharine Ross, Strother Martin, Henry Jones, Jeff Corey, Sam Elliott, Cloris Leachman, Ted Cassidy, Kenneth Mars and Donnelly Rhodes.
The film won Academy Awards for Best Cinematography, Best Music, Original Score for a Motion Picture (not a Musical), Best Music, Song (Burt Bacharach and Hal David for "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head") and Best Writing, Story and Screenplay Based on Material Not Previously Published or Produced. It was nominated for Best Director, Best Picture and Best Sound".
Source: Wikipedia

Tracklist: 1. The Sundance Kid, 2. Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head (B.J. Thomas Vocal), 3. Not Goin' Home Anymore, 4. South American Getaway, 5. Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head (Instrumental), 6. On a Bicycle Built For Joy (B.J. Thomas Vocal), 7. Come Touch the Sun, 8. The Old Fun City (N.Y. Sequence), 9. Not Goin' Home Anymore (Reprise).
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Banjo & Sullivan - The Ultimate Collection 1972-1978 (2005)

"It's a tragic story - struggling musicians who finally experience success only in death, that which they could never achieve in life. Banjo & Sullivan disappeared amid a series of heinous homicides and were basically forgotten-–until now, that is.
Kentucky-born guitar ace Roy Sullivan was a Nashville session player in the '60s before teaming with Adam "Fingers" Banjo, a banjo picker from Mississippi. Their 1972 debut album, Two Silver Tongue Devils (Who Ain't Got a Clue), was followed by 1974's Wasted Banjos and Drunken Guitars. Sullivan then married Gloria Harrison, a respected studio singer, who joined the group on piano and backing vocals. In summer 1975, "I'm at Home Getting Hammered" hit #34 on the country chart and "She Didn't Like Me, but She Loved My Money" reached #23. In 1977, Banjo married backup singer Wendy Clark and she joined on backing vocals and tambourine.
The next year, while touring in support of the latest album Where the End Meets the Road and the single "Lord, Don't Let Me Die in a Cheap Motel," B&S checked into the Kahiki Palms Motel after a rousing run of gigs. While the exact details of the grisly crime are unknown, what is certain is that Gloria, Wendy, and roadie Jimmy Cracker were murdered there by a group later dubbed the Devil's Rejects. Roy and Adam were never found and were presumed dead".
Source: Amazon.com

"Banjo and Sullivan is a group of fictional characters created by Rob Zombie, appearing in his second feature film, The Devil's Rejects. They were a group of unlucky musicians who ran into Otis B. Driftwood and Baby Firefly at an old motel".
Source: Wikipedia

Tracklist: 1. Dick Soup, 2. I Don't Give a Truck, 3. Honeymoon Song, 4. I'm at Home Getting Hammered (While She's Out Getting Nailed), 5. Killer On the Lamb, 6. I'm Trying to Quit, But I Just Quit Trying, 7. She Didn't Like Me (But She Loved My Money), 8. Roy's Ramble, 9. Lord, Don't Let Me Die in a Cheap Motel, 10. Free Bird.
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Banjo & Sullivan @ MySpace

VA - Pornosonic: Unreleased 70's Porno Music (1999)

This one's for all you old school porn lovers out there!
"Pornosonic was born in 1971 through a chance meeting between Ron Jeremy, a budding star, and Don Argott, a key L.A. session musician. Over the next 20 years Pornosonic wrote and performed some of the most creative and compelling music for the adult film world. In addition to many credited and uncredited tracks on well known films, there was a lost cache of songs just recently discovered. The compilation of those songs is being released in 2004 under the band’s name. Fortunately or otherwise, many of the band members went on to other musical endeavors and through mutual arrangements were forced to sign non-disclosure agreements about their work in Pornosonic. Thus, while several of the original members went on to become household names, and some gained great infamy for some stupid rock and roll pranks, the management of Pornosonic and the subsequent title holders to their catalogue are not allowed to mention these members by name".
Source: Wikipedia

Tracklist: 1. Dick Dagger's Theme, 2. Cramming for College, 3. Nice N' Sleazy Does It, 4. Spiderpussy, 5. Special Delivery, 6. Sex Starved Secretaries, 7. Prepare For Take Off, 8. Her Magic Carpet, 9. Laying Pipe, 10. Spiderpussy.
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Pornosonic Website
Pornosonic @ Amazon.com